Posts Tagged ‘put on weight fast’

this is a complicated one. i can feel a migraine coming on at the mere thought of trying to explain this tasty morsel of idiosyncratic behaviour.

i get fat sometimes.

in fact sometimes i can get fat really fast. a few years ago whilst living overseas, i actually piled 15 kilograms onto my small frame in a matter of months.

of course, i never acknowledged the fact that i had begun resembling a hippopotamus that had squeezed into size 8 jeans until my charming flat mate steve – not his real name – told me quite matter-of-factly, “when you got here you were ooh [using his hands to indicate a figure eight body with his hands]. now you’re fat [using his hands to indicate a blob].


i’m not really sure how a normal human would react after they realised that they had become fat. but i handled it the only way i knew how. i hid my junk food in my bedroom and would eat it when no one was watching.

that’s right when i’m fat and no one is watching i will eat pastries, cakes, chips, lollies and chocolate in my bedroom.


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